Changing Eternity
by DarkAngstScary
Summary: Updated! Shindou finally gets closer to what and who Sai really was
1. Astranged

A/N: THIS IS A REWRITTEN CHAPTER 1 AS OF 2/3/06. My worst nightmare has come to pass, my writing has deteriorated since I first started, thus I'm going to rewrite this fic from beginning to end.

Changing Eternity

Chapter 1- Twins

Disclaimer: The oh so great creations of Hikaru no go do not belong to me, they belong to the creators. Well duh….now I'm not going to make money off of this yadda yadda yadda…

―A tsunami of

black and white, one doesn't see

the small waves forming

"Saiyoko! Rasaiara! Where could those two children gone?" A tall, attractive blond woman crosses her arms in exasperation. Her only job was to be in charge of the children during their stay, but they were such brats. The girl, Rasaiara, would throw a temper tantrum if a certain food wasn't cooked to her liking, and as revenge she would ruin all the good linen. The boy, Saiyoko, was a bit better, but his smirk during one of his sister's tantrums annoyed her to no end.

However, once the children did disappear somewhere, the house was quiet, and she had the free time to do whatever she wanted. But it wouldn't do for the long term; two other maids had quit or were fired, the former because of the antics of the children, and the latter because of "negligence". The current record was three weeks, and bets were already being placed how long the newest caretaker would last.

The woman sits down at the table, pouring herself a steaming cup of tea from the teapot sitting in the middle of the table. Unbeknownst to her, this tea had a sleeping draught in it, designed to keep pesky people asleep for a few hours so they could get fired.

The children were in a room located in the east wing. The subtle décor on the walls were of the highest taste, the furniture, sparse, thin and decidedly expensive. A room where most children would not enter in fear of breaking some priceless heirloom, and would measure eight tatami mats in size. Only large comfy cushions broke the austerity of the room, something the children needed that was not originally there.

Against the backdrop of the comfortable cushion, steam rose from two cups of green tea, one at each side of the figures hunched over a go board.

It was quiet enough for both children to hear their own beating heart, and that of the go stones as they resounded clearly on the board.

At least the white stones did. Moist and shaking fingers hesitate over the board, think better of it, and retract the hand. Trembling, and sweating, the slight figure bows, "I have nothing."

"Hah! I knew it! You suck!"

That broke the revered silence of two players in serious thought. Saiyoko, ten years old, did not understand the concept of sportsmanship. He waves his hand at the weak shapes and battles on the goban.

"I must say though, you were right to resign. If not, in a real game, you lost by twenty moku."

"How would you know that? You just learned counting two weeks ago same as me! There's no way you can count that fast!"

"And how do you know I didn't learn it instantly? I might just be a pure genius, unlike some people I can mention."

Rasaiara conceded his point, her brother never lost a game against her; and she was the one with extensive tutoring sessions. But she hated losing to her arrogant, older by two minutes, older brother, and made excuses.

"What do you mean twenty moku? I only lost by half a moku at best, and that is not a difference at all!"

In silent laughter, her bright brother smiled benevolently at her. "So, what happened to the four stone handicap I gave you?"

The girl only glares at him.

"Hey don't get mad at me. You were the one who suggested that we play this game! To make mom and dad happy you said….too bad you don't have the talent. But it's not a total waste; we got rid of that blonde bimbo." His violet eyes gleams in his mirth.

It was joke at her expense. She was the one that asked for the lessons after all, and he was only forced to play along because they did everything together. Soon, it was clear, while Saiyoko had innate talent, his sister….his sister would never reach pro level, even with arduous training. Too bad, because it was his sister that passionately loved the game, and was cut short by her own deficiencies. She could enjoy the game, but he could and would always pound her in the dust.

"That's it Saiyoko! How can you behave like this? I got rid of all those caretakers, I listened to all your ideas, and all you can do in a game like this is rub in my face how much I lack compare to you! Well fine! You get your wish! That's the last time you're going to say anything. I'll stop playing. I hate you and this game!" Rasaiara clutches the stones tightly, as if she was about to throw them at her insensitive brother.

Saiyoko eyes did widen at the statement but she couldn't be serious. Go was like her lifeline, without it what would she do? As for hating him, he always wanted to be an only child anyway.

Why did she let those words come out of her mouth? Now, she was struck with it. She kept her promises, unlike her twin.

Her brother's hand swipes across the goban scattering the pieces everywhere. "Well, since you lost, and you're never going to play anyway, pick these up will you? It's your last chance to hold her kind of go stones." The boy then leaves the room, his loud laughter echoing in the hallway.

Rasaiara could not take it anymore. If her beloved go was going to be associated with that, that, person, she could give it up. Nothing was more despicable than her twin.

It took a long time that time to clean the stones and put them in their proper places. The stones kept getting wet.

**Japan, 7 years later, 2 years after the Hokuto Cup**

Rasaiara looks at the simple structure of the GO institute. The architect must have picked the most functional design; it held none of the aesthetics that go professionals prized.

Hesitating to go in, she paces a little in front of the building, back and forth, almost like she wasn't going to enter. She had always hated going here, the symbol of her mockery of a life. But there was nothing she could do about it, Saiyoko was an insei and he asked for her most specifically to deliver his things. The _household_ lived to serve the young master.

Rasaiara wished she was back in America or even China. She was willing to even spontaneously combust on the spot. She closes her eyes. The building is still there, an epitome of that wretched game of black and white stones.

Rasaiara still couldn't figure it out. Saiyoko, 7 years ago, treated go like a passing hobby but now lived and breathed the game like she once had. Her twin had even trained in China for 5 years before becoming an insei. After two years of that, Saiyoko decided he was ready to take the pro exam.

According to that woman, her brother apparently didn't have much choice in the decision; in order to catch up the twin dragons, as the media dubbed Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira, who were the same age, it was now or never. He had missed his chance in defeating Shindou while he was an insei; he was in Korea and China training.

Rasaiara knew that he didn't need her to come; he just wanted to gloat. Charged full of righteous anger, she tucks her long black hair under the baseball cap, and stomps into the lobby.

Saiyoko was such a bastard for making them move to this country. He could have stayed permanently in Korean where go was more popular, or moved by himself to Japan if he wanted to be acknowledged in his country of origin. Like the decision to move to China, she had no say in the matter. If Saiyoko wanted to go, the whole _household _went. The only amusement she had since coming to this country was the look on his face when he found out his name was practically only given to girls in Japan. He got over it though, and made tons of girlfriends off of that story. He never lost against her in anything.

"…_too bad you don't the talent…_"

Did he know how much that hurt?

They were only ten years old, and both of them were always treated equally despite the wide gaps in talent. Then, for him to say she didn't have talent…it was painful knowing that her parents felt she was wasting their time. Her real parents…. Not the ones that were part of the _household_. Why couldn't she have been adopted? No, Saiyoko decision was that twins stayed together. It was as he wanted her by his side at every victory to torture her .

Rasaiara finally realized how much derision Saiyoko treated her hard training; he had started with Tengen in that fateful game, adding in a four stone handicap. It was different as night and day as the outcome between the Kansai pro and Shindou Hikaru. It was the one game she actually poured the kifu over in secret, as if it held answers to her salvation.

In the end, she felt only disgusted with herself and watched the kifu burn with another go piece, white this time, from her collection. She had only twenty pieces left from the original eighty, and eighty one stones that her brother told her to pick up. It was her habit to burn a stone every time she thought of the crippling game, the game that stole her very soul.

Why was her twin gifted in the one game she had wanted to play so badly in? Even now her passion threatened her sanity, but she could not afford to be put on medication again. Her position was precarious in the _household _ as a non go player as it was.

Easing her mind away from the memories that had been dredged up by her brother's decision and the Go institute, Rasaiara breaths deeply, unclenching her fist; her nails had broken the skin and she hadn't even noticed.

Ignoring the slight twinge of pain, she kept her eyes straight ahead, her gaze intent on the elevator door. Though Rasaiara was concentrating very intensely at her surroundings, her mind really was elsewhere, and failed to take notice of the people coming off the elevator.

The papers in the folder flew out of her hands, scattering all over the lobby. How did she get on the floor?

"Sorry!" a voice utters, while she tried to slip out of her daze and get up.

The boy collected the various sheets of paper for her, but the lunch that Rasaiara had brought on her mother's orders was beyond salvaging.

The boy frowns, sweeping the blond bangs away from his eyes.

"Gee I'm really sorry about this," Shindou as he surveys the mess he made. Grinning widely despite the circumstances, he reprimanded his friend. "Waya, I told you we shouldn't race out of the elevator!"

"So says the loser who has to buy me sushi." Waya shot back, both of them ignoring the fact that it was really Shindou who suggested the idea, but over ramen.

Pretending he didn't hear that last statement, Shindou speaks with rather pretty long haired girl, "Are these kifus are yours? You don't mind if I look at them right? Hey, wait a minute are you an insei? You're carrying so many kifus and stuff. That must be your lunch….hm…but… I never saw you here before…" Hikaru rifles quickly through the pile of kifus that she had dropped, scanning each one quickly without regard.

"Shindou! Stop going through her stuff! I apologize for his rudeness; he can be a little out of line sometimes. " A cheerful smile greeted her as Rasaiara finally looked up.

A brown haired boy was looking at his friend in exasperation, jabbing the other boy with his elbow for him to say something. A boy with funny brown hair that was cheerful… from her brother's description and a glimpse of his picture in Weekly Go , it probably was the one called Yoshitaka Waya ,a Go pro….and if the other one was Shindou Hikaru…

She hated contact with anyone related to the Go world.

"So, since your lunch is ruined, Wanna join us? We're having ramen. Waya's paying," Shindou smiles happily, completely ignoring Waya previous statement.

"Hey, don't hit on girls using me as an excuse! And it was sushi! And you're paying!" Waya shot right back at his friend.

Quickly the girl snatches the kifus away from Shindou's hands. "No, thank you. That lunch was his. I could care less. These kifus are also my brother's, go invite him for lunch discussing his genius plays. If I need to pay for the mess, send the bill to him as well." As fast as Shindou could recognize the games that the kifus were composed of, it was nothing compared to how fast the girl moved out of their sight and company.

Startled at her rudeness, both boys shrugged.

"What's up with her? A pretty girl, but too much bitterness. You sure can pick them, Shindou. You attract the weirdest people. On a side note, how's the insei?" Waya, distracted already by thoughts of another potential genius rival.

"……Um…five of the kifus were Shuusaku's, two were of your matches Waya, five of Akira Touya, five of my matches, ten of Touya-sensei…" Shindou ticks off his fingers, ignoring the side comments about the girl.

"You mean none of the kifus were her brother's? Wait a minute, why is he observing more kifus of your matches than mine?"

Shindou stops counting, "Actually only one was his. His skill level is okay, maybe a bit above Fuku. I can't see what the girl meant by genius. I mean I am of course…"

"Shhhhhindou…..!" Waya yells in rage as Shindou Hikaru, pro of four years, ran as fast as he could from one's, codenamed Zelda, wrath.

Settling down once Waya had a mock fight with him, Shindou couldn't get rid of the feeling he had met the girl before.

"Hey…Waya…that rude girl back there….did she feel familiar to you?"

Waya slaps him on the back and laughs. "So I was right about you hitting on her! I was getting worried, when it seemed you were only interested in Touya Akira. I mean, that tension between that arrogant bastard and you is just not normal," Waya interjects with spoon waving in the air.

Hikaru reacts automatically. "I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM! He's just the…nevermind." In the mid of his sentence that reminded him of Sai, Shindou grabs his fan in reflex. His hand grabbed empty air. "Shit! Waya I have to go back to the Institute. I left my fan there. Order me my favorite ramen for me!" Shindou was already halfway down the block before Waya could reply, sushi, not ramen.

Waya had to have the last word though. "YOU'RE PAYING SHINDOU!"

Grinning though Waya couldn't see him, he only waves at the other boy.

On the road back, the whole thing kept nagging Hikaru. Before he was a bit pre-occupied with the kifus, but now that he reflected back on it, he kept on thinking how she felt so familiar. That's why he extended the invitation. But maybe it was just him. Hikaru ran faster to ignore the direction his thoughts were really taking him.

Dreams don't really come true after all.

Breathing hard as he enters the lobby, Hikaru silently wished the elevator to go faster. As the elevator opened, a bunch of inseis got out, which was normal, except for the fact he caught the sight of long purple hair.

Shindou Hikaru tried to calm himself down. He thought he was rid of the habit of chasing down anyone with that unique purple hair.

_Get a hold of yourself! It's not Sai! Sai is gone but he lives in your Go remember?_

Still, Hikaru couldn't help but be curious. Could he pretend to bump into him or something? His eyes followed the retreating backs of the insei, and his resolve falters, until the boy on the right speaks.

"Sai, you totally killed me today! I just have no luck… no wonder you been #1 since you got here!"

His name is _Sai. His name is Sai. _No, calm down. It's probably the person who impersonates the real one from time to time on the internet. _It's not really him._

"Skill, luck and hard work. All you need, oh shoot, my hair band got loose. Where did it go?" The purple haired boy starts to turn around.

Shindou looks at his feet. _It's not him, it's not him._ Unfortunately, at his feet was a white ribbon hair tie. No Ogata. He could try it at least.

"Hey, Sai, you dropped this!" Shindou said loudly, steeling his heart, and expecting an awed insei, got ready to break into a grin. _It couldn't be him._

But to his utter surprise, the face staring back at him **was** indeed Sai Fujiwara, go tutor from the Heian period.

Author's Note: I hope this is more up to par. C/C welcome. I hope my characterizations were too off. Please also tell me if the OC are getting Mary Sueish, however I doubt many are going to reread this, but okay.


	2. Baka

Chapter 2: Meeting

Disclaimer: As usual, Hikaru no No is not mine and no profit is generated from his.

_A flow of stones_

_ Forming the universe_

_There lurks black and white_

The go ban glittered with untold mysteries and possibilities even after the first move was already made. It was this uncertainty that Saiyoko sought. His talent in Go was undeniable but his zeal for perfection even more so. Passion for go was one necessary trait for achieving greatness; without it, even the greatest talent would waste away.

He sought the hand of God.

For that he needed to turn professional as quickly as possible. He was testimony to his sister's misgivings, but like the half finished go game, he was also full of enigmas. Why he was driven to find the hand of God he didn't know; all that he needed to know was that he did. Anything that caught his fancy would have received the same treatment. Being taken away from   
Go for five years taught him that nothing else was more important. Rasaiara was driven from go in beginning for that very same reason; he wanted his "parents" focusing all their time on him.

That was the past, however, and once he surpassed their skill he did not shed a tear when it was revealed they were not his parents. The world of far superior go players awaited him. And for now, his goal was to surpass the current and upcoming, the winners of the last three batches of pros. The great Touya Akira, following in his father's footsteps; the ever mysterious growth and skill that might even equal Touya, Shindou Hikaru, Isumi , undefeated during the pro exam. More would flood the world of the pros and he would be one of them.

He easily admired all of them, but it was Shindou's style of playing go that attracted him the most. Early on, from all the kifu studied, he had picked Shuusaku as the best playing style. Shindou Hikaru felt the closer he ever seen in his life to the intricacies and talent of the "best go player". But he found it quite by accident.

Bored, waiting on his date, he had rifled through  Weekly Go. What he saw astounded him; the shadow of Shuusaku looming over the game!

Shindou Hikaru may have lost that round to Touya Akira, but he knew even then that in the games that followed, the two would become true rivals. Saiyoko thought then, that he needed to stop that; **he** needed to be Shindou's rival. Touya Akira interested him, but Shindou was closer to perfection. And he needed that perfection to reach the hand of God.

He was stopped before he even started.

Shindou had climbed up the ranks far more quickly than he imagined. Now the earliest possible opportunity to have a game as pros would be in a year.

Saiyoko had been cursing his luck as he exited the building with his friends, but to his surprise,

Shindou (he had memorized what he looked like), tapping his shoulder and calling him Sai like any old friend.

It was a great chance.

Too bad Shindou Hikaru did not know that  Saiyoko  Hubino existed.

That really irked him.

"Sai! You came back!" Shindou hugged the purple haired boy tightly.

Despite wearing modern clothing, he looked exactly the same. The long purple hair tied with a white ribbon was there, as the violet eyes that could be calculating and silly.

It really was him.

"Shindou…Hikaru?"

Did he remember? Letting out of the boy and stepping back, doubt had started to creep into Shindou's mind.

"I thought reincarnation wasn't supposed to happen but I'll never doubt God again. Sai you remember me right? Shindou Hikaru! My name is Shindou Hikaru!"

 " Of course I know who you are!  You were in the All-Japan tournament, and I must say it was a shame that Ko Yangha had to win. But enough of that.  It's really an honor to meet you. "

"You…don't remember?"

He looked puzzled. "Did we meet sometime before this? I studied almost all the kifus of your games that I could get my hands on, and went to every one of your games that I could, but I don't think we actually met in person. My full name is Saiyoko Hubino, does that sound familiar."

He didn't remember.

"Sorry Sorry…I thought you were someone else." Shindou Hikaru couldn't hide his disappointment and headed toward the elevator.

Unfortunately he bumped into the same girl he had crashed into this morning again.

"Can't you watch where you're going?" She snapped, beyond annoyed at the bleached banged boy.

"Sorry…" Shindou said sheepishly but before he could get on the elevator, the boy who was Sai yet not , called out…

"Rasaiara that was rude! Apologize to him….."

Forcing a smile, he waved off the comment. " No, it's alright."

The girl just glared at the boy who was not Sai.

"You may be my brother, but I am not your servant at your beck and call. You know how I hate go, and yet you make me come here!" With the stress of the day, the girl stormed out of the Institute.

Shindou Hikaru still got a disconcerting feeling from the girl, like he met her. Despite…Saiyoko having the looks of the one he sought, he didn't feel a degree of familiarity.

"We're twins, but different as night and water. She hates go. " The boy shook his head and went on. "It may be poor compensation for my sister's rudeness , but would you play a game with me?" The boy said forcefully.

Taken back a little at the intensity Sai no Saiyoko's eyes, he answered yes without thinking.

It was a subconscious sort of stream of consciousness that made me say yes when his mind logically wanted to refuse.

They were waiting for him at the restaurant and were no doubt eating those ramen noodles without him. But here was a chance to really see if it was Sai….

Yet…

Twins?

Did he say twins?

Author's Note: So who do you think it is? The one who doesn't play go or the one who does? The male or female? I may be dragging you along an obvious path….or am I? Don't always look at appearances…


	3. Impossibility

A/N: Er…I have NO idea where I'm going with this. Watching Hng after so many months has made me nostalgic. I don't have a good grasp on the characters I'm sorry. Thanks for the reviews; I'll try not to make it an shonen ai thing….really I will…(got annoyed when someone said that why can't two guys be friends without being gay and she agreed, then she realized she was doing that…..grr…ahem…xx) I really need feedback…my Muse is jumping all over the place..I'm confused to say the least….

Disclaimer: This belongs whoever owns Hng. I certainly don't own it…or it'll still be going on! No profit is being made…ahem…on to the story…

Chapter Three:

Impossibility

Shindou stepped back, and shook his head to clear it. What was he doing? Those wild thoughts of his have got to stop. Even if Saiyoko looks like Sai, or that Saiyoko has a twin, in the end both of them can't be Sai. He was not so restricted anymore on the mention of the name. There was no need to play go with his doppelganger with ramen waiting for him.

He was curious, why did the girl call her brother a genius? He was normal go player to his eyes trained by Sai. There was no way that Sai could be a person that played normally. His playing would shock everyone in to watching closely his progress. There was no way.

Making up his mind, Shindou answered rapidly.

"Sure…let's play in the far corner of public go room."

To his surprise, the bleached bang boy agreed. Looking far from the dignified player that stemmed from his brilliant plays , Saiyoko had his doubts. His confidence was unnverving and annoying. Didn't he know that he was first in the insei groups since he entered the pros? Shindou was a dan, sure, but he had only been playing for two years as a pro, and four years total in his whole life. Compared to Akira Touya, his experience was slim indeed.

So why does the attitude bug him so much?

Ignoring such insignificant details, Saiyoko gathered all his concentration, and his gaze sharpened into something quite intimating.

"Since you are granting such an honor, I would like to request that this be an even game." With his head bowed, no one could see the slight smile on his face, nor the cold look in his eyes.

Blinking, Shindou nodded. He could easily adjust to his level if needed, and if he was an equal partner it would be fun.

They settled down with their colors, Saiyoko with white and Shindou with black, and started.

"Onegaishimasu"

Pachi.

Shindou looked a bit odd at his opponent. Speed go? He did have ramen…it might work best this way.

Smiling, he calmly put his piece down, but was surprised that Saiyoko already put down his next move. Looking up, Shindou felt fear grip him. The world that Sai taught him, the sword that he had gotten over , he felt again. Was it really Sai?

With flashing eyes, Shindou rose his concentration level several notches as one playing a real serious match.

Pachi!

Pachi!

Pachi!

Pachi!

Saiyoko was sweating. Why was the boy playing so well? None of the weekly go kifu showed anything like this….. A demon play that seemed hell bent on destroying any sort of pride he had in his go. Shindou Hikaru was supposed to be happy go lucky, a playful genius, but this this…

Pachi!

He couldn't think of the next move. He couldn't. All Saiyoko could feel fear.

The game had barely begun, and it had ended. A deciding battle it was not….

There is NO Way. His go may look the closest to Shuusaku, but there should be no problem! I studied his kifu endlessly that I could think ahed just like the man. So why am I having trouble thinking what I should do next?

Shindou Hikaru taps his fan lightly, his opponent had stopped playing speed go, and was looking belwildered.

_He's not Sai_, h_e sorely needs training. So, Sai, why did you go? Did you indeed go smiling? This game of go is for you…_

Even though his opponent was still 15 moves away from resignation(Shindou assumed the other boy's skills took him so far), Shindou was rapidly getting depressed at the game and decided to shorten the number of moves by half. Thoughts of Touya Akira and their last game just made him going faster. The lookalike Sai, reined in his disappointed face, and forced a smile.

" I resign. Thank you for the game" The other boy hung his head. __

Both go players disheartened, they did not even discuss the game.

_He's not Sai. _

_25 moves! The bastard!___

Silently they picked up the Go stones. Wanting to get out of the situation, and not wanting to seem rude, he had just crushed the boy after all, Shindou could only awdwardly bow and mention a few comments.

"That…was a good game…. You have an eye for good shapes…" It was the best Shindou could do just before he bolted out of the room.

_When will I find you Sai?_ _Will I ever see you again? To play together and reach the divine move?_

Shindou was late. Again.

Touya felt a sting of jealousy that Shindou was not here, as anxious as him to play Go. Unlike him, Shindou life didn't exactly revolve around Go. The boy only started four years ago while his life destiny was entwined with go since the beginning. But that in itself was a misconception, however true it might be. Three years ago, he may have liked go, and thought about it as a life profession, but he did not love go as it was meant to be loved. Talent could only carry him so far. He may have had the will, but neither determination nor passion was in his playing style.

Enter Shindou Hikaru. It was as if God put him there to push both of them along, to reach the Divine move together. One might even go as far think as thanking the younger boy for pushing him to his very best, in fear and anticipation that he would catch up. In the beginning, there was someone par with his Father, something to be truly feared. He thought it was just his disappointment fading to resentment and bitterness, not actually acknowledgment!

"You? You'll never catch up in a million years!"

_The snide tone, betrayed my inner thoughts._

To everyone, Touya Akira was polite and never-changing. Shindou….Shindou Hikaru was the first person to make him truly angry, and made him feel a myriad of emotions associated someone meeting their first rival.

Those closer feelings he felt, it was not love. Guys don't like each other just because they were anxious to meet and see them so they could play go. However, Touya had an inkling that this might be the closest he would get to it, go would take over his life, and be forever in his heart. With the exception of the other self that may be inside of Shindou, there was no other person that was fit to be his rival.

"Sorry I'm late!" Shindou burst in all soaked on his morbid thoughts.

"Obviously I have more interest in studying go then you have."

"So says the one —" Shindou broke off his sentence with one that Akira Touya would have never expected.

"Touya….how did you see Sai in me?"

Taken back at the strange question and the unspoken agreement to make no mention of the name Sai ever since that first game when they were pros together, Touya went silent.

"That first game…after two years and four months…halfway through…I saw…glimmers and flashes…and that hand and shadow that stood behind you in our very first game…."

All serious, Shindou looked at the black go stones in his hand.

"What if I said that I know who Sai is? That doesn't surprise you, does it?"

"Though you didn't admit it, it was obvious that you had some tutoring from him."

Shindou laughs eerily. "He's an insei. Only an insei, that's probably younger than us. How's that for a genius, Mr. Touya Akira?"

"I mean really, how suprising can it get? There's someone even better and more dedicated than you, I can't wait to play him again." Shindou looked in expectant and happy.

What the? This was just_ absurd!_

Shindou with another riv—revealing who Sai was after all this time? Dropping the fact that he was only an insei, and already strong as his father?

Just absurd.

But his hands shook, and his mind was in tumult.

A/N: screams GAHHHHH It's messed up! It's messed up I tell you….xx I'll leave myself to my strange rants from now on… And readers still haven't told me….which one do you think is Sai? Not the one you want…but the one you think…heheheh…I'm not going to base it off votes but I just curious….thanks for reading! Comments on the story/writing are sorely appreciated!


	4. Double

Author's Note: Hah, you thought I given up on you guys eh? Well, no I haven't. Just that I been rewriting too many drafts my Gravitation fanfiction, then giving up on fanfiction all together, so that's why it's taken so long even when this chapter has already been written..um.. a year ago. I decided to replace it as the 4th chapter, because I'm having problems with the current events. Hopefully, I can have the chapter written before the summer/month is out, maybe even by tomorrow, and thus you guys will have three chapters within the space of four months! Much better than all this dumb waiting, but please C/C! And some people will obviously be happy about how the guesses were right… to an extent. : P

Disclaimer: Everything in this fic is not my creation and I'm doing this for fun. Any lawyers will be fed to the deformed Nemos and Stitches that curse me and my muse.

Chapter 4 : Double

Rasaiara felt a sinking feeling in her stomach all the way home. Kicking off her shoes off quickly, she ignored her brother and mother's questions, and headed straight to her room. She felt feverish; was it because of the rain?

"_You are hereby exiled from the palace!"_

_A beautiful ceramic cracked on the floor_

_The flowers spilled out_

_Red red blood sprouting everywhere_

_The smooth waves of darkness and no air_

_Where nothing can reach and nothing will hurt_

Rasaiara clamped her mouth in horror at the words and pictures running through her head and felt like she could throw up. Stumbling out of her room, as the surroundings spun, she took the wrong door ending up in her brother's study. Despite the world turning upside down, her eyes seemed to sharpen at the sight of the go-ban. Stumbling, Rasaiara walked slowly toward the centerpiece of the room, only to trip at the last moment and slam her head against the sharp edge of the go-ban.

_Are you sure you want to do this?_

_I will find the divine move even if it takes a million lifetimes._

_That determined? But for the divine move you will always need two…_

_That's just a rumor…I will achieve that ultimate form by myself._

_Go is the reflection of oneself, can you surpass it?_

The sirens rang, and Saiyoko wondered exactly what happened. His twin had acted strangely since getting home, and now she was a mess and his go-ban ruined. The night was coming to perfect end, to match his bad mood due to the diasterious loss of the afternoon. Towering over Shindou Hikaru, in awe of his genius, he still thought he could win. More fool was he. Staring at his go-ban stained with his sister blood, it couldn't help but recall memories.

_I resign. How do you do that Sai? I'm black with a five stone handicap!_

_Even I admit that you are quite good for your young age. Will you be my pupil?_

_That laughter again, Sai. Have you ever felt the pain of loss?_

Wait. These weren't his memories…these…weren't…. He never...

_Have you heard? It's the emperor's new tutor, Fujiwara. Young isn't he?_

_Oh but you must stay away. I heard that he's quite the conceited man._

_He is? But those are so fun to break._

"**THOSE AREN'T MY MEMORIES!" **A sudden fierce headache developed, and was pounded fiercely. The room had started to spin, and the board seemed to swirl with the black and white. His random looking around the word caught his reflection, a view of one with the same looks but with a strange hat and purple lipstick. In awkward motions that were unsteady, unnoticing of the blood that stained his hands, he reached for the doorknob. It was so close, and it was open already, just a little more…

The thud of the body hitting the floor seemed to echo empty laughter.

"Did you hear? That new promising new insei at the top of the first class, collapsed yesterday shortly after his sister! Strange isn't it?"

Snatches of conversation filtered the way to Kurata's ears. Even since Shuichi tore up the go world by being only a go player of two years before going pro, he had been interested in the new insei's, just in case a genius might appear once more. He had been following the rankings in the first class for a while, and the new guy, Saiyoko, the top insei , was most promising record of no losses since joining, with the exception of the entrance eam. Like Touya, the boy had been playing since he was young, six, Kurata believed, but the odd thing was the lack of any parental guidance in the matter. According to others, Saiyoko, or Sai, he liked people to call him, just decided to play go, and took a liking to it. Kurata then shrugged, he was being too much of a busybody.

"Huh? They collapsed? That's funny, I just played them yesterday." Shindou thought, his mind still straying to the eeriness of the likeness to Sai.

_Can you hear me?_

"Wait, what do you mean them?"

"Oh I made the sister play; she's good, probably could become a pro with some training"

"You did what? That stubborn and rude girl? And she's as good you say?" Waya shook his head in disbelief. "It seemed like she hated the game."

"I don't know. She knew how to play." Shindou mind was not focusing today.

_Let me play, Shindou!_

Isumi interrupted, "Wait, is this guy, Saiyoko, the one you are matched with for the Red Lion's Tournament?"

"Huh?"

"Matchups?"

"Oh. That. I suppose I am…." Shindou drifted to earlier memories.

_When did Commodore Perry arrive in Japan?_

"He's hopeless today, let it go Isumi. He is in one of his moods again." Waya wondered about the air-headed Shindou when not playing Go. His skill level might be above his, but Shindou still remained clueless about life.

And why was he still playing in the Lion's Tournament that was only for new pros?

_Rotterdam_

"Master, you must see this!" The young girl exclaimed on the surprise on seeing a certain nick on the go server.

"Is it Sai? It is probably the fake again, the real one surely would not appear again after another three year absence."

"But Master, he won against that pro in China, that you lost to the other day!"

"What? Let me try…"

**Challenge.**

**Accept? Yes No**

"Alright he accepted. Now let's see what he's made of…"


	5. Angst

A/n: Yeah this was supposed to go before the other chapter. Sorta. Not really. I don't know…..

Well, the events are going backwards and forwards at the same time.

Disclaimer: Nothing is Mine! Wahhhhh!

Chapter 5: Angst

Shindou then fell silent, and only the sound of the white go stone hitting the go ban in the next sequence of a pattern showed that he was thinking. He held the quiet pensive look of one who did not know what to say, and decided to leave it to the go ban.

"Really Touya, why are you replaying this game? I lost fair and square to the Korean dude."

"How forgiving you are, to forget your loss at Hokuto Cup."

Shindou Hikaru held the intense light of concentration in his eyes, as he changed the next supposed pattern on the board. "Ko Yongha, of course I remember, but we were talking about inseis and Sai. And the Sai I found." Here his voice cracked a little. " is not what you're looking for. I'm a closer "imitation" than him." Shindou broke into a huge smile. "Got you. How would I ever know Sai, you idiot? How many times did we have this conversation?"

Touya Akira was taken back. Shindou's voice was bitter, and that smile was malicious, rather than joking.

"He's really not that good, anyway. Maybe my standards are been higher lately because all the games we have together. It's not that he's bad just… he plays by the book. What kind of insei still does that?"

Touya Akira stays silent, leaving the board's click answer for him.

Shindou continued on with his rambling, and placed his next move without thinking. 'What, you thought I was talking about Sai, the one that beat your father? No way, I'm just nostalgic. That's why I asked, since finding that Sai, I been wondering if I really got any better."

Was he imagining things? Shindou being humble? Something must have happened, and not that pittance of what Shindou considered news.

"No."

Shindou's hand hovered over the board. "What?"

Touya Akira regretted the words once they left his mouth. But it was the truth, partially anyway, and he would not take them back.

"You admitted it yourself. Copies will never surpass the original."

Hikaru fist flew out and punched Akira Touya in the face. Despite him being calm and collected during go games, Hikaru was still a very active and volatile person.

"Bastard. But, you know what they say about you too right? Poor Touya Akira, clinging to his dead father's legacy" The words dripped with malice. "Your talent was god given, not earned. You have no right to judge anyone. Right?" Breathing heavily Shindou contained his anger and slammed down a final stone, grabbed his bag and walked out the door.

Rubbing his jaw, Akira Touya famous ice cold stare, seen only when he was in serious concentration, was turned fully on Shindou Hikaru, who was walking out the door. Though Shindou could not see it, he felt the full intent of his gaze. And despite the cliché, if looks could kill, he would be nothing but dirt beneath the great Touya Akira's feet.

His father wasn't dead either, its just that he couldn't contact him for the past two years. Shindou knew that. His father was chasing the hand of God, and he wasn't a kid anymore.

Touya Akira could only stare at the door, dark thoughts churning in his head.

"Are you chasing a shadow, Shindou Hikaru? Or do you feel like you surpassed me?"

Akira glanced at the go ban. Though Shindou was not paying attention to where he put the stone, and Akira only playing on instinct, they still managed to play a game they both would recognize

"So it comes back to the beginning." Touya Akira whispers as he touches the stones gently.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Rasaiara could think of nothing but go. 

"Just shut up already!

Her head hurt intensely. For that reason, she just wandered the streets instead of the cold house she lived in. She was not up to dealing with her "mother" or "father"

So that's why she tried to calm her racing mind by walking in the new park. Her feet walked without thinking, and her headache grew more intense by the minute.

"Just stop! I give up!"

pachi

The quiet but strong unmistakable tone of the connection between stone and board was the only reply.

Only then, Rasaiara realized, that she had walked into an area where people played go in the park.

Her mind was seeing black and white starts connected all together in a harmonious pattern.

Without knowing what she was doing, she tapped the shoulder of a man who was playing a game that he already lost.

"Can I play?"

The gruff man nods. He was about to resign anyway.

Rasaiara just immediately started clearing the board.

"Can I play black?"

"Um.. .sure." The voice was young.

She was half blind anyway, seeing nothing but patterns and stones, so it really didn't matter who her opponent was.

2 hours later, they were still playing the game.

The whispering from the group finally got loud enough that Rasaiara could not help but overhear.

"So this is the talent of the pros! I don't know who the girl is, but she's keeping up with the boy. And he's a 3 dan! You know, the boy everyone claim Touya Akira rival is…, what's his name, Shuichi? No, that's my granddaughter's band, Shindou…, something shining, Shindou hikaru!"

Rasaiara started. What was she doing. Quickly she placed her stone any place, any place would do. Tengen was still open for some reason, and it so had no bearing on the game. At least she thought so.

Rasaiara was panicking, and quickly feigned looking at her non-existent watch. "I'm sorry but I'll have to resign, I bet I'm losing by 10 moku or something anyway. Thank you for the game. Bye" She started to brace herself for running.

But something came over her, and she took out a fan that she found, and hide her mouth saying words she could have swore she said before "Shindou…can you hear me? I glad I met you…"

Rasaiara quickly dropped a bow and threw the fan behind her.

What possessed her? Now her headache was even worse.

* * *

The go prodigy named Shindou Hikaru could only sit there, shell shocked at what he heard.

Dare he read more into it? Those same words…

"I'm home." The words seemed to echo in the empty house. His parents were vacationing in Kyoto leaving him home alone. It didn't' bother him before, but now with the onset of that boy, Touya Akira surprising outburst and that girl…

The park really didn't help him forget.

Shindou Hikaru winced when he thought of the cruel words he said.

Feeling agitated by such events, he decided to recreate the game between him and the girl. Maybe it would have a calming effect.

"Let's see…star…"

drip

"17-4 upper right corner ko-moku"

drip

Shindou steadily put down the stones , finding it strange it was leaking water in his room.

With the final move, the board glittered in it's intensity, a game of untold wisdom.

"Sai…Sai…" The tears flowed freely as Shindou scattered the stones on board, heaving sobs.

"Sai…Sai….Why!...why did you leave me…SAI!"

It was an open wound that he mistakenly thought healed.

A/N:sweatdrops: uh….I guess I really can only write angst. My comedies don't come out right….poor Shindou…as well as Touya… What do you think will happen next? C/C appreciated! And yes this chapter was supposed to go before the other chapter but mehhhh.


	6. The Troubles of Death and Rebirth

a/n: First off, I just reread some parts of the manga and I realized I sort of screwed up the timeline, haha. Ignore everything I said, and it's just two years after the Hokuto Youth Tournament. Second of all, I seriously need a BETA READER/S. Since I write so sporadically(but I usually am encouraged by reviews), it'll be like a one time gig probably, and in the middle of nowhere. So hopefully it'll be someone who doesn't mind that.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

Chapter 6: The Troubles of Death and Rebirth

Rasaiara hesitated over the key, unsure if she should really do this. "Screw it, it doesn't matter anyway." Rasaiara hit enter button harder than she meant to, making her fingers hurt more. Who ever heard of getting injured fingers after fainting? Rasaiara thought in derision. Well, they were more like calluses, but it's not like she did any work…

Her attention was caught on different things though; immediately ten windows popped up asking her for a challenge. That was strange; it should be the other way around. There was no way they knew about her. Maybe it was the nick; it did say Sai after all. Was her brother more famous than she thought? It didn't matter. After playing that horrible game with Shindou-san, she wanted to see how she fared against amateurs. "China. Rank: 3 dan. "Her eyes widens in awe. "3 dan? Shindou was a 3 dan, so I probably shouldn't pick this one." Accidentally though, she accepted the game. "Oops."

" Wake up, please wake up." Saiyoko woke up groggily from his dream of the Heian period. It was a nice dream, except Rasaiara was in it, except she was some person named "sai". "My dearest companion, I shall wake up when I want to, and that will happen when the nightingale sings"

It was really hard to get up for some reason this morning.

"What manner of speaking is this?"

"What are you talking? " Saiyoko opened his eyes. That's right. He was in the present now, not in the Heian period, the most talented go player the court had ever seen.

He remembered his talent now, and was awed by it. How could he have lost it? In fact, he still did not remember how could he lost and died because of it. No matter, because he knew that even the prodigies of Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira would fall short of his talent now. He was that great and he would dominate the Go world. Fate was still indeed his ally.

But, if he had recovered his memories, what of Rasaiara memories? He had her face with a male body, and she had the face of Reiko, the bitch. What if Fate decided to resurrect her as well? His memories were also mixed with vague snippets of a boy on an island, and blood floated randomly in his head without rhyme and reason, creating a massive headache.

"Mother, dear, I meant no disrespect, I merely wanted to inform you that, I , Fujiwara, would be awake shortly."

"Enough. You must have a concussion or something; your last name is Nakatomi, as you so graciously informed the Minamoto's that you refused to keep their name anymore. Really, such a troublesome child."

"How was the competition in Korea?"

"Strong and getting stronger. Japan is falling behind, even now." His real mother strode away from his hospital bed side, and pours herself a glass of water. "No other words for your mother? Say why you and her ended up in the hospital?"

"The past, mother. You know how Rasaiara is."

"She should have stayed with the Minamoto's. She is not like us."

"Go comes foremost in our lives, why should we still care about her?" Indeed, even in the Heian era, she had lost to him many, many times. Yet she still had unnerved him with her voice, and her determination in spite of a lack of talent. In the end, it was she who….. no, his head was still playing tricks on him. That couldn't have happened.

"I don't know how a family of go professionals could have birthed such a child. We fostered you both at the Minamoto's for a reason, even with low talent she should have liked the game."

"Don't blame the Minamoto's, Rasaiara just refused to play after losing so many times to me."

His mother set her glass down, and walks toward the door. "The Young Lion's Tournament is your nearest tournament right? Make sure you stay #1 till that time." The mother leaves the boy.

Saiyoko laughed. This would be so easy.

Rasaiara vaguely knew that she was trouble, but didn't know how to fix it. Should she placed a stone there and cut off his expansion plans? Or should concentrate on the lower left half and solidify her territory? There were so many holes, but at the same time, she couldn't read far enough to find out which would help her more in the end. Her hand moved with the mouse faster than her mind did, picking a spot that she hadn't even considered. In fact this whole game seemed to be directed by someone else, like someone was standing over her shoulder. But as she checked time and time again, no one was there, so it could only be the voices in her head.

"That's comforting," and looked at her watch. Oh damn. The nurse was set to come in fifteen minutes, and if she didn't clear out of this right now, she would go tell her brother everything. Her brother had that effect. Guess the next move she would resign …Wait, he resigned?

Rasaiara didn't get it. Did he run out of time too, on the other hand? She felt oddly irritated. The game could have gone on for another ten minutes, and the game would been in yose, instead of this half-baked game. Even though he was a 3 dan, this was really unprofessional of him. Before she could say anything to the guy, 10 more windows popped up crowding up her entire screen.

"Oh, I give up. They're making fun of me." She shut down the go server client and decides to take a nap. That was how the nurse found her, shaking and sweating, dreaming of elegant handwriting ,and a beautiful man that looked like her brother but was kinder, much kinder. The nurse finally woke her up, and checked her temperature and other things, but she didn't complain. She wanted to go back to the dream as soon as possible.

He could hear the whispers and the giggling behind his back. It brought back memories, but he was here to play that guy again. Or at least play him and find his sister. Shindou Hikaru could not let this end like this. Surprisingly, Touya Akira was already there, playing one of the inseis. Now why would that impatient brat come here? Touya Akira just couldn't play shidago right. He would play the person to a tie always.

"Nakamura sensei!" Hikaru shouts over seeing his teacher again.

"Shindou, what a surprise!" His former insei teacher adjusts his glasses at seeing the crazy blonde among the insei again.

"I thought I do a good deed today and drop in. I met an insei the other day that I'm rather interested in, but I'm afraid I crushed his enthusiasm for go a little, so I want to play him again."

"Hm, interesting. Who are you looking for? No, I can guess. Nakatomi, Saiyoko right?"

Shindou Hikaru was taken back. How did his former insei teacher know?

"He's been asked to play pros many times already, as he has a sort of thinking that is more decidedly Chinese in thinking rather than Japanese. His mother is also the woman Honinbo title holder. It's rather unique, and I understand your need to test his strength again, but he's not here."

"What?" _What about the father and the sister?_

His sensei seemed to misunderstand his confusion

"He seems to have fallen ill."

"Can I have his address then? I actually also have something of his sister's. It's a fan." Shindou Hikaru spread it out, so the impressive calligraphy decorating the rather huge fan showed. "It seems rather expensive." Shindou couldn't keep the eagerness out of his voice. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Akira Touya pause. What was he doing here?

"Interesting. His sister has no interest in go, and that decidedly is a poem by Shuusaku."

"What?"

"Nevermind. It's insert how Japanese addresses are written here Take the insert random train line."

"Thanks!" Shindou rushes out the door.

"I resign."

Touya Akira tried to not make it obvious that he was going to follow Shindou Hikaru to his stupid obsession.

"You're playing with fire!"

"It was the only way, and I thought this would help them faster."

"It's tearing them apart! How could do you want to that spirit? It was at peace."

"I have no choice. I want the Hand of God achieved. It must be done in the thousand year span of this one spirit. I don't want to wait for the right time to reincarnate it when the opportunity is already ripe, and being a ghost took more time that I could have used. This talent comes along every millennium and this scenario is the closest humankind has gotten since the last time I had a spirit of this caliber."

"Death and rebirth. Is that what you're saying?"

"Sink or swim, as the saying goes."

"Mark my words, this will in disaster!"

"Reiko hasn't entered the picture at all. You know she's a catalyst."

"You know she will! The only reason she hasn't shown up yet was because the spirit remained that way! But now it'll end the same way! Why must you wrench that soul into an eternity of sadness over and over again? Wasn't that spirit finally at peace!"

Silence quietly fills the air, until it's broken by a single bark of desperate laughter.

"You don't understand the passion of Go, you never have. Past, Present, and Future are to be connected. I just need that one time when everything aligns."

The stars twinkle in a pattern of like black and one stones, a shining map of what was to come.

A/N: The weird speech is supposely old speech, I don't have the resources to look up what it's actually supposed to sound like. Same for the insei teacher, a customary search on google doesnt' turn up anything, and all my books are at home. I seriously need a beta reader. And thank the last reviewer(sorry don't remember your name) for reviewing, it encouraged me to finish this chaper faster instead of waiting in limbo for antoher three months. Hopefully this will be finished before I graduate damn college. Hehe. Any questions? Email meeeeee...


	7. Ray, Sara, and Sal

A/n: Ouch, wow, just reading my stuff makes me realize how much stuff conflicts, damn.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hng, and I make no profit whatsoever on writing this. In fact I'm giving up sleep for this!

Chapter 7 – Ray, Sara, and Sal

"Can I speak to Rasaiara please?" The intercoms was just to reach the doorman, just how rich this can this family be? Though you could make a decent living out of playing go, you would not be rich like this, this was Conglomerate family standard.

"Ojou-sama is ill. Please go to the hospital and visit if you wish to see her."

"Er, which hospital?" The intercom didn't answer back. How rude.

What was the deal with that though, she looked fine yesterday. Maybe she knew it was him and told the servants to tell a blatant lie. No, she didn't seem that stupid. Maybe she really was in the hospital.

"That's it!" Hikaru Shindou turns around and starts to run back the way he came, only to crash into a solid frame. "Ow! Watch where yo—," Hikaru's eyes widen in amazement. " Touya? What are you doing here?"

The emerald haired elegance that was Touya gets up slowly, dusting the dirt off.

"I was obviously minding my own business when someone crashed into me."

"But you were playing with the inseis' like a second ago."

"Well, I stopped obviously, and now I have to keep going," Touya moves slowly, like he really didn't want to go that way.

Shindou's eyes narrow in suspicion.

"You were following me weren't you? Give it up, Sai's mine! I mean—," Shindou realizes he never really did tell Touya Akira the truth like he promised.

"Sai? The one that I lost to on the internet, an insei, and one that's even younger than us? You must be joking." The cold voice echo the years past, of one boy declaring to another, that he couldn't possibly be the one he was chasing after.

"Um, well I saw the kifu, and it just reminded me of Sai, the one that imitating the real one? I was just going to ask him about it, maybe the real one is a close friend or something." Yes, that's it! Act like creepy Ogata-san. Shindou reverses slowly, ready to sprint away to safety. Not that Touya could really do anything to him, but his eyes right now, uh, looked oddly murderous.

"That seems rather familiar, Shindou-san. Sai, the real one, hasn't appeared for the two and half years since that game with my father. And now you're looking for him, like Ogata was, like that day in the hospital. " Crap, he wasn't buying it. Wait, he saw that scene in the hospital too? When? Touya had never mentioned anything of that sort, and he was just as desperate to find Sai. Hikaru's confidence started crumbling. He was so sure that no one saw Ogata threatening him that day.

"In fact, I think you always go on this obsessed like quest this time of the year, skipping all your games, mirroring that early period in your pros years. Is there something I'm missing, Shindou-san? Because you seem to repeat this every year, and every year you brush it off with not wanting to play with the shallow talent pool. I know for a fact that the go association expects it now; they assign you games knowing full well if you ever showed up, your opponent would lose horribly."

Shindou, being Shindou, only caught the phrase "missing games."

"I had a game today? Oops, it's not like I wouldn't have creamed him anyway. He's a new pro right?" Shindou Hikaru said shrugging.

Touya looks at him in disbelief that the golden haired boy, his rival, heard not a word of his rant. Shouldn't he listen when, he, Touya Akira, took the time to explain in length his problem?

"You did it again! You just blew it off! Where's your professionalism Shindou-san!" Touya was beyond furious.

Shindou backs up faster. " All right, all right. I'm just stressed; I'm just taking this time off. I can't help it if there has to be games going on the same month I pick to unwind!"

Touya's eyes flashes coldly. "Relax? Relax doing what? Chasing ghosts? Because I'm starting to think that you do have some ghost haunting you, who taught you how to play go! And you're looking for that ghost every year!"

Shindou Hikaru poised to run, froze like a deer caught in the headlights. This boy, who Sai said would grow into a formidable dragon, had in truth become one. He would never know how close to the truth he had gotten. Shindou now knew deep in his heart, he never meant tell Akira anything; so he laughed in face of Touya's words, for he had guessed correctly. It was wretched, this situation. One of pain, of loss, of lies, and of unspent tears, Shindou just kept laughing.

Touya could only stare at laughing madman. Why did the bleached hair idiot seem to be on the verge of a breakdown? Why didn't Shindou just brush him off ?

The boy, no he was a man now. This man in front of him was a stranger that had the same bleached bangs and black hair, the same build, the same changing eye color, but it just a grown up version of the boy of six years ago that he met, the one who was gleefully counting the Title money nor even the solidified boy after the Hokuto tournament. "That's rich, Touya, coming from you." The denial said so offhandly should have been familiar, but those words echoed hollow in a voice that he could not recognize as Shindou's. Then this mysterious stranger who took over Shindou body pivoted on his feet and ran away from him, like he was a demon from hell just waiting to gobble his soul and damn him for eternity.

_So does that make me the demon? I don't even know why I try anymore._ _I spoken more in these five minutes that I probably have about anything unrelated to go, and he's not even surprised. Why do I even try anymore? _Unspoken were the words that Touya Akira meant to say, but since they're unspoken, who knows if he really meant them?

Gulping huge breaths of air, Shindou tries to figure out where he is, after jumping on a random train, and getting off before it got too crowded. One glance told him he was in commercial hell: Shinjuku. Huh. At least he didn't go all the way to Kyoto or something. But it wasn't like he wasn't tempted; he always meant to but never actually did. Something prevented him from visiting Tojiro grave again, a grave that was Sai's and not his.

His stomach growled. Digging into his pockets for money, a thought struck him. Wasn't he carrying something when he crashed into …that person?

The fan! The fan, with the genuine Shuusaku handwriting and poem, belonging to the girl who said the same words of the one person that Shindou will always miss, it wasn't in his hand anymore! Did he leave it on the train? Was it with…Touya?

"Yo runt, get out of the way!"

Three marines, obviously out of their element, decide to calm their anxiety by picking on a weak looking Japanese kid.

Hikaru ignores them, frantically searching his bag on off chance he remembered to put it in there.

"Kid, Did you hear me? Get out of the way!"

Hikaru frustrated when he couldn't find it, answers in annoyed voice , "Go away baka!" Knowing that if anything the Marines understood that one word of Japanese, Hikaru got ready to fight. He would lose horribly, but at least his mind wouldn't be full of junk.

But the Marines weren't talking to him, and the slight of figure kid in front of him had the idiocy to also call the Marines idiots.

One of the men started with a fist straight to the face and the kid flew a little bit, crashing into Shindou Hikaru.

"_Fucking marines. Don't you have anything better to do than pick on girls?" _

The kid was on the ground wiping away blood from his mouth. "Sorry for crashing into you, can you help me up?"

Shindou was confused, why was the kid sprouting English now? He didn't understand a word that was just said; although he did catch the word, girls. Were they fighting over a girl? So was the guy asking for help? The guy was holding his hand out, so Shindou helps the guy stand. He still couldn't see his face very well, but a nasty bruise must be forming under that baseball cap.

"Oooohhh, the girl can speak English! But who is the baka now, stupid brat? And are you kidding me? You a girl? My eyes must be deceiving me!"

"Private, I know for a fact you can not get into a fight with the locals. Go away before I report you to your captain."

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Ray Fujiwara. And believe me, I am on very good terms with Captain Hendrick"

"Let's go, I seen that guy talking with the Captain before. Besides why waste a leave beating up a girl that looks like a boy?"

The marine who threw the punch spits on the kid, but he leaves with his departing friend.

Shindou didn't understand what just happened, why did the Marine agree to leave? But he knew at least it was due to this purple haired gentleman.

The tall man walks over to the two of them. "Sara, are you okay? I told you I'll pick you up at the hospital later."

"I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. My mother was picking up my brother. Besides you just arrived in Tokyo a few hours ago."

"Sal's in the hospital as well? Now, I have to hear your story."

"Later," the kid turns toward him. "Thanks back there, I'm, gah.. Stupid hat, I'm taking it off, I don't need it anymore anyway."

Under the cap, it was none other than Rasaiara.

"You!"

"You!"

A/N: Yes conflicts galore! Who is Ray? Why Sara Rasaiara, and why SalSaiyoko? Especially since I'm stupid and conflicted the setting I set up in the beginning? Is it getting too angsty? Too OOC? Yeah, yeah, I'll be rewriting some things, in due time. However at the moment I don't even know if I can finish. C/C appreciated, especially since it seems like no one likes this story anymore….. I went from "that's kinda of neat" to "meh, I don't understand." :cries: That's life I suppose…


	8. Dreaming Past

A/n: hah, I'm soooo proud of myself. 2 chapters in one night. Of course it's at the cost of my own sleep but ehhh that doesn't matter. Hopefully since I tweaked the storyline a little, Rasaiara and Saiyoko pasts will be revealed a little, and how Ray fits in with the whole grand plan. Please, please, however, try to not gag on the dramatics. : D

Disclaimers: Nothing is mine

Chapter 8: Dreaming Past

"What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?" Rasaiara looks at the blond bleached boy as if he were a slimy infestation.

"Like I'll ever stoop to that, only Touya-" Hikaru clamps his mouth shut.

"What? What does Touya Akira have to do with anything? Forget it, thank you for your help, now good bye, I hope I'll never see you again." Rasaiara pulls the man named Ray, with her away from the "crazy stalker".

"Wait! It's by coincidence, but I want to return your fan to you." To Shindou Hikaru the thought of not at least playing her again was balanced against getting pissed at her brush off.

"Are you speaking German or something? Because I can understand Japanese, Chinese and English and it isn't in any of those," Rasaiara kept going.

The man stops the girl from going further. "Sara, stop," The man turns to Hikaru, holding out his hand. "Sorry about this, she's just a little high strung right now. Thanks for trying to help her. My name is Ray. Pleased to make your acquaintance," The blacked haired man towers over him with benevolent smile, and in all friendliness and apology, extending his hand for handshake.

Shindou Hikaru instantly felt something was wrong with him, but extends his hand anyway. However before he completes the handshake, the man Ray takes his hand back quickly. "Oops, I forgot the Japanese bow. Forgive me?" The guy gives a quick informal little bow, and drags Hikaru's outstretched hand. "Let's all just go back to my place together, and Sara, that is Rasaiara, will be in better spirits then."

The girl just taps her foot impatiently. "No, why do we have to bring him along? You didn't even show your new place to me yet." Rasaiara was still glaring.

Right about now, Hikaru Shindou was getting Ogata creepy stares vibes, and it wasn't from Rasaiara glare….

"No need, I don't have the fan anymore. I lost it."

Ray frowns. "Well it doesn't really matter. It's my treat for you helping my little sister here."

Hikaru Shindou whirls. The girl had another brother besides Saiyoko? Still he hesitated. After all the man reminded him of Ogata, in his creepy little "tell where Sai is" abuse phrase.

Ray, sensing his hesitation laughs. "Oh, it's not to my house or anything. I own a go salon in Shinjuku."

Hikaru Shindou relaxes a little. That he could deal with, plus most people who played in go salons recognized him. "Sure then, take me there."

"I refuse." Rasaiara, stops in front of an elegant building in Shinjuku but as unique as its surroundings.

"You were eager to see it before, so why the hesitation now? Come, before our guest gets chills from the night air," a cagey voice answers the girl, so different from the gentle and caring tone it was before.

"You know why. And you know you lied about what this place was." Rasaiara rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet, ready to run at a minute's notice.

The man grabs the flighty girl's arm tightly, hard enough to bruise, at least in Shindou Hikaru's eyes, but the girl was able to fling the man's off , throwing glares at both men.

He had to say something.

"It's just a go salon. What's wrong with it? You play go." Hikaru voice drops an octave. "You played with me in the park. You almost beat me."

Rasaiara turns around and faces Shindou, walking step by step, one foot in front of another, in Shindou's general direction. The expression on her face was inexplicable, unexplainable, an expression that belonged on a face that has just been told that she was expected to die for a complete stranger for no specific reason.

"What lies are you sprouting! I know I lost fair and square in that game! It was a relapse. Ray, you know it! I can only burn stones! I can't yearn for what I want! You told me this!" Rasaiara lunges toward the retreating figure of Ray, away from Shindou. She grabs Ray's arm this time, her voice close to a wail, her eyes pleading, "Hide me, please. Save me from that family. Don't make me go in there." The man reaches for her face, but the girl turns her head away, dropping his arm, and moving behind him, her back to his, her hands covering her face. Her tones of her voice soften, the edge dulls, and delirium sets in. "Please. I can only trust you, so don't tell me you gone over to their side." She tilts, and the girl drops on her knees, falling into an ungraceful heap, her hair a tangled mess around her.

Ray makes no move to help the just discharged patient from the hospital girl, frozen, his back to her prone body. A crowd starts to gather. "Hey, someone call for help! You two should help the poor girl! What are you doing? You can't leave her like that! What kind of man are you?"

Heckled by the crowd, Shindou pushes the still dazed Ray aside, and scoops up the dead to the world body of one girl. "Hey, snap out of it! Let's just get her out of here, open the door! She's not light you know."

Ray looks at him, walking robotically toward the door and opening it, gesturing for the younger boy to walk inside ahead of him.

What the hell was wrong with the both of them? One collapsed in hysterics, and the other one just acts like a zombie. "Where can I set her down?"

The man just pauses, glassy black eyes staring back at him. "Nevermind, I'll just put her here." Shindou lays the girl gently on the hard wooden floor, there was no comfortable couches in sight.

"I was her go tutor first."

Shindou whips his head around to look at the speaker. The voice was bland, not male or female, a true robot, telling a past that shouldn't be told.

"But as she said, I am her brother, only half, but still blood related. That came later though. Then again, it didn't matter. She already stopped worshipping one brother, and she just needed a surrogate one. That measly no talent girl wanted comfort, and I wanted to keep tutoring, watching over Sal's growth."

"You… Why are you talking like that?" It was beyond rude, but Shindou did not want to hear anymore.

Ray gestures toward another room. His voice immediately began to have semblance of the warmth, banal, gentleness it had before.

"Leave her there, its' just another one of her tantrums again. She'll be better soon, as I said before. I heard you're a go player, a rank of 3rd dan. Impressive for someone only 17 years old."

"Shouldn't you call a doctor for her? Shouldn't she take pills or something? Why are you talking about me?"

Ray only claps his hands, and then bows quickly, and smiles. The room suddenly was flooded with light, but a clicking sound echoed everyone, like something was getting locked down. It was then, that Shindou saw the true nature of the go salon. It wasn't a go salon at all, it just was decorated in splashes of white and black, with artwork, calligraphy and kifus located all along the walls, drawing the eyes to the floor, which was drawn in a large representation of the surface of a go board.

The eyes now full of malice, and so at odds with his easy going demeanor of before, Ray spoke. "If you think she needs medical attention, then play go with me. If you win, I'll let you call from the landline in the office, there's no reception in this club. But if you lose…" His voice held a hint of laughter and amusement. "Don't mind it, the penalty won't be huge. But aren't you running short on time?" He gestures to the comtose girl on the floor. "She could be fine, and could be in dire need of her medication. If she dies, it's not my problem, the police will write her off as another attempt to run away that failed miserably. " Ray pauses and sighs at the body.

"Then again it took all that effort to suppress her talent, and speed up Saiyoko's. It was a pain. What need does a girl have for playing go?"

"I'll be a witness to your murder" Shindou eyes starts to blank out into crystallized jade green, in his face serious.

"Who will believe you?" Ray laughs. "She really is fine. But I don't know if you wish to believe me, so let's play for the truth."

"You fucking bastard, you want me to play with her on the line? What kind of human are you!"

"The kind that causes others to commit sucidie if it suits my needs and ambition, of course." The voice drifts out from inside of the room. The man, no monster, had entered the room already, expecting his answer. Shindou began to think this was a dream, that they were not really doing this, the only sticking point being the other man was serious, his tone mocking, his setup perfect.

So Shindou followed, filled with rage and the desire to win.

A/N: Do you hate Ray or what? At least I did while writing him; I tried writing a really weird character that seemed kind of normal at first. Well that went out of the window. Hopefully I didn't go OOC or Mary Sue on you guys. I would really like input on how the story is progressing, and how interesting the next chapter will be for you guys. I will alter the storyline again accordingly to whatever the reviews tell me. I know my dreams/ideas get a little too perfect and no continuity sometimes. Write soon encourages me to write more, haha! Thanks! But :sigh: I can't get this thing to doublespace at all with Word, wanna give me hints anyone?


	9. Will the Real Sai Please Stand Up?

_Author's Note: It's late, no one likes my fic anymore, I don't feel like adding more to chapter. It's actually almost ending. It's convoluted. Who wants an explaination? And damnit, I still can't get the doublespacing or whatever to work. ARGH.  
_

_Disclaimer: I own none of Hng elsewise I would have made all the Hikaru and Touya doujinshi real. :P_

_Chapter 9: _Will the Real Sai please stand up?

_Sensei, I don't know what to do anymore. He wants to enter the four houses match in front of the Emperor with me. We are both of the Fujiwara clan, it has raised a scandal with the elders; to them it is beneficial that we both are in the Emperor's favor. My brother even insists on the traditional stakes: exile. What is he thinking? What kind of ideas did Reiko put in his head?_

_I don't even have the qualifications to enter, I am a Fujiwara. What does he gain by risking the wrath of the Emperor and the elders? Does he know something I do not? _

Rasaiara surfaces from the muddle of memory of long elegant phrases and politician machinations to fling her arm across her eyes against the blinding overhead lights. Her eyes strung, the tears leaking out silently. Why was she on this floor anyway? Then she remembers, the drink, the comforting words and what Ray did to manipulate Shindou Hikaru into playing him. Rasaiara laughs a little; she knew that no one related to the family could be trusted, but she thought Ray was safe.

But he was the worst one of them all, her entire childhood was controlled by him, to indirectly affect Saiyoko.

She tests to see if she can get up. Her attempt fails miserably, so she rolls on her back and gets on her hands and knees to inch to the doorway. There was no way she was letting Ray getting away with crushing his spirit for Saiyoko for the Young Lion's tournament. Maybe there was hope; maybe he would even beat Ray. But even to Rasaiara's inexperienced ears, would there be a way for a 3rd dan to beat a 9th dan that just won the international tournament in Seoul?

* * *

Hikaru Shindou was scared out his mind. He couldn't concentrate, could almost not be able to breathe. He felt the tension in the room slowly choke the air out of his lungs. This pattern, this style, it couldn't be right? But Shindou played this same game with many others, same joseki, same opening, and only one person decided to play the way this man in front of him did. 

Shindou was afraid to be cut into pieces, wary of his opponent's skill, his energy fading under the onslaught. If it weren't further proof of whom this man was…..

Shindou Hikaru refused to believe this man who had such callous disregard for manners and life was his reincarnated mentor Sai, no matter how much he played like him.

pachi

Shit, did he now save his white group in the left corner or try to kill the black group threatening his territory in the lower right? Hikaru could not believe there were so many holes in his game.

"Hikaru, you will fail."

_Hikaru you will fail. Hikaru, Let me Play!_

"I shouldn't have to tell you when you should resign correct?"

_Turn your fear into courage, and face the edge of my sword head on! _

He couldn't not against Sai.

"I resign. Thank you for this game."

"NO! " The girl was sweating all over, and collapses inside the room. She glares at the one she called her "savior" and manages to grab the bowl of stones and throws them at him. The man dodges out of the way. Rasaiara proceeds to trash the game, tossing the stones left and right.

"Are you fucking crazy you stupid bitch?"

"So the truth comes out?"

"Yeah, I don't need you anymore."

"Like in the _old _days right?" The old echoed of years past.

Ray stares at the girl burning with fever probably but still was asking for a fight. He laughs. He'll pull the bitch all the way down to hell with her brother. He wouldn't even have to change his plans.

"What are you laughing about? This game is unsanctioned! It doesn't count, Shindou-san forget you ever played him, it was a dirty trick!"

The blond haired boy looked back at her. "I lost fair and square. At my level I better not forget what games I played."

"That's right, Sara. Not that you would know. But I'll tell you anyway. He passed. So you better pass the pro exams if you want a chance at me. I guess I'll pick the others from reputation.

Isn't that fun Sara? Even you get a chance if you pass the pro exams that Sal is going for! If your mother happens to try to kill you or lock you though, I won't guarantee your safety anymore"

Hikaru Shindou sat stony faced, silent during the exchange, senses numbed and hearing dulled by shock. It eventually filtered through, bits and pieces. Something about passing.

"You think just because wheeze" the girl clutches her chest and faints, her head once again hitting the go board.

Hikaru snapped out of it. "She needs a hospital now!"

"No, she needs her mother's _loving _care. Which she'll get in oh… 30 seconds." The man looks at his watch in eagerness.

Shindou looks at the man more closely. He had short dark blue black hair, with violet eyes, that was showing glee at another's person's misfortune. He was tall, his body lean but not skinny. The clothes made him look a bit feminine now that Shindou had some light, but it obviously a man.

Shindou couldn't see the semblance. He must have learned the same way of playing as his mentor that's all. No way was this grim human being the same Sai that was so excited over seeing real fishes. It couldn't be. Focus, focus.

"What did you mean by passing?"

"15 seconds. Hm, oh that? You're invited to the international newly formed this year Emperor's Cup. The prize money is worth $1 million American dollars. The fame for winning?" Ray smiles. "Priceless. She's in here, Mrs Nakatomi."

Two goon looking figures picks the limp form of the girl up, and leave.

"Now that's over with. What shall I do with you?"


	10. The Beginning

A/N: Sorry for not writing, I had to revamp this chapter a bunch of times, and I didn't feel like writing. I find that I don't like how I write anymore, it's too.. I don't know what. But hopefully in my life I can finish one fanfic, and this one will be it. I'm shortening it, so I can meet my goal. Enjoy and thanks for all the support!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go, and never will.

Chapter 10: The Beginning

"Just kidding. Go." Hikaru Shindou got off his feet quickly and shot off like a rocket, wanting away from confusing thoughts. Outside in the crisp night air, the blond haired boy catches his breath. What was that? He was more confused than ever. Shindou ticked off the weird things about the "siblings."

Saiyoko looked like Sai, the Heian period ghost.  
Rasaiara felt more like Sai and his gentle teachings  
Ray had the skill and the age of his mentor.

Hikaru felt his head pound. What was going on? Was god just trying to play a trick on him by splitting up parts of Sai? Was he just being delusional and thinking that Sai could be found in one of them? What was he trying to prove? What did he want from Sai, even if he reincarnated?

The go game flashes in Hikaru's mind, and Hikaru runs faster.

* * *

"Is this information reliable? Okay, thank you!" Amano puts the phone down in amazement.

"What's got you so excited?" asked Nakamori, another go staff member. "An International Go tournament, that's what! America, Korean, Japan, all of Europe, China everyone under 30 is invited as long as they qualify. The prize money is a huge 10 million yen. This is unbelieveable!"

"I can't believe that some sponsor decided to give that much prize money." Nakamori looked doubtful. "There has to be some catch to it. Is there a registration fee or something?"

"Nope. None at all, all you have to do is qualify! It's actually coming out of pocket of two corporations group for good relations and publicity. Let's see, what the corporation was again…. the Minamoto Group and the Fujiwara Conglomerate! " Amano was practically jumping up and down from the excitement.

"Wait, you just said qualify. What are the qualifications?" Nakamori looked confused but awed at the names. Everyone heard of the Minamotos and Fujiwaras, they were everywhere.

Amano stops his joyful ranting. "Damn, I forgot to ask."

* * *

Akira Touya idly shifts his fingers through the go stones; the feel of the cold stones was smooth and comforting. Shindou hadn't come to the go salon in three days. Akira had considered calling the other boy, but he realized that they never exchanged phone numbers. So he had no choice but to wait here, where Shindou Hikaru would eventually show up. He always did.

For some reason, his patience was running a little thin. Tomorrow was the Young Lion's tournament. Although Shindou and he could not be considered new pros, they were asked to participate to motivate the insei and the recent batch of pros that weren't broken in yet. Or, Akira acknowledged, the Go Association probably just wanted to see another match between the two of them, it created waves and sold papers.

"Akira! I finally found you!" Ashiwara bouncing self pounced on the boy like a cat on a mouse that was just about to run away. "You were making yourself scarce at home and the Go Institute. I wouldn't have thought to find you in the salon that Shindou kun always frequents…" Ashiwara trails off, looks at Akira careful blank look, and decides for once to shut his mouth. Akira still got touchy when it came to Shindou Hikaru.

"Nevermind. But have you gotten the invitation for the qualifiers yet? "

Ashiwara eagerness was apparent.

"What invitation? I haven't been checking the mail lately." Akira felt heat rush into his face. In fact, he hadn't been home for the last three days.

"You seriously don't know? Where have you been these past few days? ." Ashiwara was giddy with excitement; it shone in his eyes, and his hyper activeness.

"I been … occupied." Akira voice was calm and unemotional.

"In other words, you were here for while. I guess the weekly go newspaper hasn't printed the news yet, but still, every single go professional knows about it! An International tournament for those 30 years and younger, named the Emperor Cup, is scheduled for two months after the pro exams, right here in Shinjuku!" Still, the older man notes that Akira did not look too enthused.

" I see." Akira felt distant from the conversation at hand.

"I also won against Ogata sensei in the first game for the Kiseki title." Ashiwara voice was cheerful but steel was behind his words.

"Congratulations." Akira Touya voice was emotionless.

Ashiwara pulls away from the younger boy and frowns. This was unusual, even at his lowest point; his sensei's son was highly interested in current title results. His enthusiasm faded a little, he sits opposite. "Want to play a match?"

Touya Akira nods, and they start a game.

"For some strange reason, only in Japan, are the two newest pros, allowed an automatic pass in. so it only leaves 2 spots out of the 5 open for Japan."

"Why two spots? There are five spots total and only two are taken thus far" Akira felt an involuntary shiver, and breaks his concentration by doing so, creating an opening for Ashiwara white stones to live.

"Shindou Hikaru has apparently already passed."

* * *

"Are these tournament rules even right? They're the weirdest I ever seen, and along with the participants… this will be interesting indeed." Amano leans back in his chair, a bit unsettled.

"What's up with you? You were jumping for joy the instant before." Taira kun was just so confused at his boss. He was only on the job for a couple of months, but felt completely lost.

"There seems to be trouble brewing already. China has declined, through intervention of the government. Korea has announced that they wouldn't stop anyone going, but they do not endorse it. It seems none of them like the fact that this Ray Fujiwara is the coordinator." Amano turns to face his computer, taping the keys quickly. " I can't say I think highly of this man either. Apparently Japan has only two spots to work with, as the other three spots are taken already. Two taken by the top two hopefuls for the pro exam, and one Shindou Hikaru, leaving only two out of a very talented pool of 25 and under. Thankfully, Japan does not have to comply with the one female on the team rule." Amano spins around to face Taira, thoughtful.

Taira turns to his boss, "if Shindou Hikaru got in, isn't it guaranteed that Akira Touya would also get a spot?"

Amano facial express was hard to read. "The thing is, I just got the match up qualifiers for the Meijin titles, and Akira Touya's match ups are all during the time the tournament is going to be held. To which he holds in higher regard; that itself will be an interesting decision to see played out.

* * *

"Let me out mother! Why are you even locking me up?" Rasaiara keeps pounding on the door until she feels faint. "That stupid mother, since when has she gotten so mental?"

Rasaiara kicks the door with her foot, yelling again. "I didn't do it! I was just visiting Ray!" She slips and lands flat on her butt. The intercom switches on. "Mother is out. There's no use yelling. It's your fault anyway. Were you oblivious to the fact that mother is jealous of any upcoming female go players? I mean I guess you were wallowing too much in your misery of not playing to notice much."

Rasaiara glares at the source of the hidden speaker. "I haven't played go since we were 8, what does she expect me to do, take the female Meijin title from her in one shot? I wasn't even playing go, and even if I was, I do not have the training to do so. You're the one whom got everything. Ray, a nationally certified go prodigy, was your tutor till you was 11 years old. Chinese tutors until you were 13. And Korean tutors till 15, and now Japanese tutors and the pro exam right around the corner. You didn't even feel a thing about being abandoned for 8 years and being picked right back up when your go talent started showing."

"She worries about the training you received however briefly with Ray. Any other questions or remembrances?" the voice of her brother was cynical and questioning.

" How about my father adopting you out of the kindness of his own heart, and you went out of your way to backstab me. Yeah sure. Sai, you were a bastard then, and you're a bastard now." Rasaiara felt her voice echo for some reason.

"And here I thought we were fraternal twins." Saiyoko's voice was mocking.

"We are, I don't know what we're talking about." Rasaiara rubs her foot on the onset of a sudden cramp. Her head seem to be hurting more though.

"No you're still perfectly sane. Sensei always praised your kifu strategies more, even when it was clear I had more talent." The older boy's amusement came clear through the intercom system.

"The three of us had a grand old time, didn't we sister … in law?"

Author's Note: Criticism appreciated! I haven't betaed it so:sweatdrops:

* * *

Now we will see, what I mean by ghosts lying. Stay tuned for the next chapter and the exciting conclusion. Just kidding, but I always wanted to say that. But Up Next: Heian Lies. 


	11. Lying Past

Chapter 11: The Lying Past

Disclaimer: Nothing regarding HNG belongs to me, but their respective creators.

"They were all lies."

Rasaiara sank down to the floor, stunned by the memories that came flooding back. How could God been so cruel? Go was a way to pass the time, not an intense journey to find the one game that would bestow upon a player divine status. It was not worth three young lives.

But, that meant Reiko was now male. With Reiko's switch in gender, no one would look down on her. No one would belittle her talent, crushing it instead of nurturing it, all in the name of the keeping Sai in the position of Fujiwara male tutor.

Rasaiara felt like laughing. All those years of crushes, of yearning, of kindness, all ended up as part of a calculated plan. Except this time, it was her instead of Saiyoko. Saiyoko laughter distorted through the speaker, sounding dark and menacing.

"I had a good laugh, sister in law. Sensei was wrong. How could you have surpassed me when you were the one that lost your life first? "

Rasaiara stays silent.

"Pouting are we?"

"No."

"Jealous and angered that your lot in this life is even worse?"

"No."

"Oh, come on you don't mean to tell me you liked our childhood?" The door opens to reveal, Saiyoko , all modernized, his arrogant nature still showing after all those years.

Rasaiara slowly moves her head to look at the confident young man standing in the doorway, the culmination of hundreds of years of go in his head, wasting the genuine efforts that his original body attempted.

"Saiyoko."

"Yes, dear _sister?"_

"That's not what sensei said. He said that I had to defeat you in order for you to understand. Reiko bested me, broken as she was, and in turn that means she was better than you. You were no more than a puppet to her."

"Trying to distort the memories?" The boy shifts uneasily.

"Saiyoko, you drowned. You cheated, not me. Reiko was the one who told."

Rasaiara words, in her monotone voice, stripped of any feeling, struck Saiyoko, as a sword smith would hammer the imperfections out in a sword, as holding a ring of truth.  
Or that could have been his head ringing from the metal box that Rasaiara hit Saiyoko's head with.

* * *

"Four days ago, our news reported the rumored grand opening of club 1812, burned down completely. Authorities have now officially ruled the cause as arson, but have still failed to find the owner of the establishment, Ray Fujiwara. He, along with two teenagers, have been officially reported missing in last 24 hours, but the three of them were not seen for a week before the arson…"

The doorbell rings, and Shindou mom shuts off the tv to open the door.

"Hikaru! Back so fast? Have more laundry for me to do? Miss my home cooking! " Shindou mom smiled.

"Hi, mom. I'm just wondering if there was any leftover mail for me."

"Why yes there is, here you go."

Shindou took off his shoes, and put on his slippers that his mother still kept.

"Eat lunch yet, Hikaru?"

"No thanks mom, I'll just go to my room and read these"

Shindou Hikaru walks up the stairs, and closes the door to his room.

Three envelopes, one from the Go association, one as promised from the weird man that drugged the girl, and one… from the girl herself?

Shindou rips it open.

Dear Shindou Hikaru san,  
Let's just say, my memories returned, and I think you deserve to know the truth, not just what Sai has told you. You may not want to know, you may want to keep Sai's memories the way you are. But if you want to know one reason for his disappearance, please take this train ticket. Ray, Saiyoko and I will be waiting in Hiroshima. We will wait for you.

Sincerely,  
Rasaiara

Shindou looked at the ticket; it was for today in the evening. Grabbing his wallet, he dashed out of the house running for his life to the train station.

Tomorrow was the first day of Mejin title qualifiers.

* * *

Akira glanced at this watch again. Shindou was late. They usually played a match before any competition to keep each other to take the edge off the tension that followed any match the two of them were in. It was scaring the spectators, so the Go Association asked them to, well, ease up a little. His cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Akira, I won't be at the match tomorrow. There's something more important that I have to do."

"What kind of lark are you going on now?! It's the Meijin qualifers!

"I'm going to Hiroshima. I'm going to find Sai."

"Sai? You're throwing our game for Sai?"

The dial tone rang in Akira ear, and he felt almost angry enough to throw it across the room.

Akira did not know why he felt so uneasy and betrayed. It was Sai, it was what both him and Shindou were supposedly chasing each other for in the first place. He had once thought Shindou was Sai, but that notion was long since abandoned. Now though, shouldn't he be chasing after Shindou to find Sai? Why did he feel like Shindou was abandoning him?

This was ridiculous. He couldn't dwell anymore on a certain bleached hair go player. That person could wreck his go career chasing after ghosts if he wanted to, the Meijin qualiers were tormorrow.

pachi

"Damnit!" Akira had never sworn before in his life, but he felt the situation warranted it.

Akira quickly writes a note and leaves the house

Mother, I won't be back for the next few days. I'm going to Hiroshima.

C/C appreciated… even though no one is reading this and I'm just trying to finish what I started. I had it originally set up that Shindou would find out in that letter there, but I felt like that would have a lot of loose ends, so I didn't. Would you guys have preferred to know what was going on in my mind when I first created in my fic just to get it over with? P


	12. Sunlight

A/N: Um, sorry for the two year wait. I wrote this chapter so many times, and that's how many times my laptop had died on me. I actually had it all nicely written out at last, but the laptop kind of fizzed in the middle of uploading and became useless. So this chapter is not even remotely like what I wrote in the beginning. I wasn't even going to care anymore despite how close I was to ending, but for some reason I got nostalgic. If my characters have gotten a little OOC, I'm sorry, as I been away from HNG fandom for quite some time. But it's nearing the end! Thank you all that have read this far.

Disclaimer: HNG characters and stuff don't belong to me bleh bleh bleh.

**Chapter 12: Sunlight**

Click. Click. Click.

What was that irritating sound? What were the servants doing? He was…

Saiyoko's eyes shot open. His hands were tied behind with Ray's and his "sister" was sitting there calmly messing with a lighter.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Saiyoko angrily asks, smelling the gasoline splashed around the surrounding area.

"I just thought I would try to refresh your memory a little. The tightness of the rope, the snap of the fire, the smell of roasting meat, the rabble of peasants screaming obscenities, crying for your name."

"You're out of your mind! Did you finally snap? Why don't you just go drown yourself instead of dragging us down with you? Loser." Saiyoko sneered.

The girl stops the lighter momentarily and starts twirling it around her fingers instead.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about you. After all, this person coerced you to cheat in front of the emperor, leading to your execution by drowning, so you know none of it."

Saiyoko laughs. "You're the one with the faulty memory. The Miyamoto clan tutor cheated and just when I was about to expose him, he accused me! Me! Of cheating! I lost the match after that. I couldn't stand the injustice. The emperor believed him over me and gave me the death sentence. But God is fair. That's what this life is for."

Rasaiara stopped messing with the lighter. "Is that the story you told Shindou Hikaru? I wonder if that worth ten years of his life?"

"You think this changes anything? You think the cycle will simply stop? Who do you think you are? Worthless, less than a worm. No matter what you do, you're still a failure." Ray calmly interrupts the sibling argument.

"I admit, Reiko, your go skill has always transcended everyone that we ever met. If you weren't a woman, your name would have lasted all the way to modern day. You wouldn't have to wait until Shuusaku's time to make your mark. Too bad it was cut short because you just had to play every single game. You had to sap the rest of his life force." The girl spun the lighter to her other hand.

"How else was I supposed to find my equal? Even in this era, the Meijin lost to me. You may have talent, but you're not qualified for the Hand of God. You fold under simple pressure and a few tricks.How you made it as the Royal Go Tutor is beyond me."

The light finally dawns in Saiyoko's eyes. If Rasaiara was not his foster sister, that meant…."You, you, you weren't my foster sister, you're the Minamoto tutor!"

The girl almost drops the lighter onto the gasoline splattered floor.

"Regressing are we, Mr. Fujiwara? That is your foster sister, Reiko. The one you fell in love with."

"The pot calling the kettle black, is that how the expression goes?" Ray smirks.

The girl remained silent.

"What are you talking about?" This wasn't the way it was supposed to turn out! He was supposed to reach the Hand of God with his newfound skills…

"What do you want me to say? I was jealous! I was jealous of Sai! I was jealous of the Emperor! I was jealous of who had your attention" The girl was out of breath. "Even now, I am jealous how much time was wasted on him instead of me."

"I give up; you're just as insane as you were in the past" Sai struggles against his ropes. "Let us go. You seriously do not plan on murder, do you?"

"Please don't state the obvious."

She drops the lighter on the floor. Both males recoil.

"Relax. Trust me." The last words both tied up prisoners heard after seeing a large blunt object heading in their direction.

Shindou Hikaru stops short of exiting the train station, angering the people behind him. "Kid, are you going or not?!"

"I uh, lost my card, sorry." Shindou pretends to shuffle though his pockets while the other people push though.

He didn't think this far. Where did she mean in Hiroshima? Inside the station? Outside? By the grave? He catches sight of some familiar olive colored hair and old fashioned clothes. But, no, there would no way that person would be here in this place, hours away from the Mejin tournament qualifiers.

"Shindou."

Hey, even the voice was pretty similar; people really do have doubles in this world.

"Once again, I will ask you. Who is Sai?"

"Uh...I have to meet a friend, let's have this conversation later!" Shindou makes a step toward the exit but is stopped by Akira blocking the way.

"Okay, okay fine. So, Sai was this ghost living in this go board. He possessed my body and began playing Go on the internet and stuff. That's why I was so good when you met me at first. But he went away after that game with your father. Okay glad we got that out of the way and now I'm really late ..."

"You really intend for me to believe that?"

"I said I'll tell you one day but I changed my mind these past few years. There is no way it would be possible for you accept. I still promised myself, if you ever asked directly, I would answer you." Shindou looks at Akira directly in the eye. "Yes, that was the truth, and whether you want to believe it, whether you want to attest to my yearly tribute to him, that's up to you."

"Why are you here then, instead of where both you and I know you should be?" Akira didn't budge.

"He came because of some misguided delusion. Do you want to follow?" A voice drifted over the suddenly empty station from a person sitting on a bench. "Well, it's up to you actually. Once you're out this exit, please don't think you can turn back." The girl gets up and disappears up the nearby stairwell.

Shindou and Akira follow.

The exit came out to a second floor looking down on a simple Japanese garden. When did the exit have such a thing?

"How could you tell him to cheat?"

Hikaru blinks. Were those Heian style clothes they were wearing?

"I told him no such thing. I told him if he didn't have any confidence he should consider finding other hobbies to occupy his time."

Touya whispers in his ear. "Where is the girl? Who are they?"

But the voice that Hikaru heard was not Akira's.

"If the emperor catches him, it'll be a death sentence. At the very least exile. How could you do that to your brother?"

"I am what I am. Isn't that why you're in love with me?" The slighter figure walks away. The sun decided to burst out and brighten up the courtyard, illuminating the figure's faces.

Hikaru was frozen. If it wasn't for her voice, she could have passed for that ghost he met when he was young.

"Sai…"

a/N: Sorry for the brick over the head and my weird writing style. It hasn't been beta or anything, as I decided to post it before my laptop died again, so sorry for any mistakes you see. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any comments.


	13. Yose

A/N: Yeah I'm sorry I read like crap now .. I suppose I should just write faster and get it over with, so I can say once in my life I finished something. Sorry that it's confusing. I originally planned the storyline to run in 2 different directions at the same time, but the more I thought about it, the more complicated it got, the more I didn't want to write it. And yet there are still people adding to story alert which makes me nervous. Is the HNG fandom dying? *sobs* So the name problem… just ignore it for now, just focus on the fact there are Akira, Hikaru, and 3 other people, 1 girl and two guys. ..

Disclaimer: HNG and property are not mine.

"_I'll be waiting for you."_

Akira Touya remembered that time in junior high clearly. He, who always forged ahead and eyes firmly set on the Hand of God, looked back and asked a boy the same age to catch up. If only Shindou Hikaru did not happen to step in that particular go salon that day.

"_Have you played go before?"_

"_No, but I think I'm pretty good"_

"_Stop playing around! This isn't—,"_

"_Catch up to me? I'll leave him in the dust before that happens" _

The skies started to darken. It was raining that day too. That day he skipped the go pro exam to play with a certain person online.

"That's Sai?"

Akira felt perplexed. His blood wasn't pounding in his ears, his body wasn't shaking in expectation and he had no urge to force him to play go. Even if he had matured and gotten over the net handle "Sai", his heart still beat a little faster just on a passing mention. His eyes now instead were gripped by the sight of one golden haired boy running down the steps toward the couple in period dress.

Would he really give up a chance to play with Sai again to remain rivals with Shindou Hikaru?

Akira Touya didn't know.

Maybe he should not have followed Shindou. The pro qualifiers were simple and easy to understand.

This was, should he say, a bit of a mess?

"Hello there!" the cheery voice startled the usually calm boy. Akira Touya turned around to see a …floating fan?

"I do think you guys want the complete tour as you're paying by the minute, and a rather steep rate you're paying there, but I'm assuming someone is covering the bill because frankly I don't think normal humans would pay the bill so why don't you just follow me where you guys can watch from a more comfortable place?"

Akira Touya only stares at the talking fan.

"oookay, I guess I'll just let you guys do the interactive tour. Just some ground rules. They can't see you, but you can move objects around so try not to do that okay? Remember the whole butterfly and tsunami thing. I don't think you can alter history, but please believe me that it would turn out sooo much worse than what you think it would be. That's it, I suppose. The people you see there are Reiko Fujiwara and Yuu Nakatomi, who you know as Ray Fujiwara/Hubino whatever name he wants to go by now, and Rasaiara Minamoto in your time. Just to start you off. If you want to end your tour at any time you just have pick up some go stones." The fan simply disappears.

For the first time in his life, Akira Touya questioned his sanity.

XXOOXOX

Shindou felt like how he was three years ago. In other words, a person succumbing to complete unrelenting despair and a general waste of air. Hikaru felt his eyes sting. Was this a past memory, were they hallucinating, or this was just some new technology? Hikaru took a big gulp of air, and quickly wiped his eyes.

Like before, his hands just went right through the image of Sai. What was happening?

They could not see him either from the way they continued their heated conversation. The other person had caught up.

"That's not even funny. Don't even say that as a joke. And I wasn't finished talking."

The long purple hair made a swishing sound as the person turned around. "No harm will come to him. He learns a lesson in humility and I get some amusement. What's wrong with that? He's not in any real danger."

"I'm afraid the effects will be long lasting, affecting his future potential."

"If you want to talk talent, I have so much more. I don't see why you're so concerned over that arrogant third rate."

"Yes, as "Sai". But as Reiko you hold a position as the 23rd concubine, and while brilliant, cannot hold any position of authority in the game of go. Please withdraw your plans for him or I'll be forced to expose you. "

"And be cast out alongside me to burn or drown? I don't think you dare, you who recoils at the mere mention that you might be associated with an Emperor's concubine."

"There are consequences to everything. There are ways to reveal your last few months as Sai without a single shred of evidence showing I had any hand in it. No matter how skillful you are, men still rule this era. So, please, as a fellow admirer of your talent, learn that human lives aren't there just to amuse you when you're bored."

"Aren't you playing go with human lives yourself? It's not like the boy doesn't have a will of his own. He wouldn't have so readily agreed to my suggestion if he wasn't already thinking about it himself. His father is the Emperor most trusted adviser, think about that. Please mind yourself before worrying about others. Now, I have a game to watch."

Shindou Hikaru tried to reconcile the story that Sai told him of how he died and couldn't figure how the ghost's story fit in with what he just heard. He had to follow them.

XPXPXPX

Shindou was glad for the fact that he was invisible, even if he couldn't go through walls and objects would actually move when he bumped into them, his view of the board was second to none. Shindou deep in thought didn't even notice the tap on his shoulder, by apparently a fan.

"Remember the rules as I've told your fellow traveler. Again, when you want to go, just pick up some go pieces!"

The fan disappears, and Hikaru is left confused. "I have to admit I have no idea what is going on either," Akira voice behind him said. "I assume we have to watch this game?"

The game had started. Hikaru and Akira soon were engrossed into what was a very interesting game, especially compared to modern eyes. Both felt the same influence of a go player once named Sai, but refrained from saying anything.

Until mid-game, the younger player with purple hair, dropped a go stone into his section. And all of them saw it, including the opposing player.

"You, you just—"

"I can not believe your audacity! You mixed in a stone!"

The other older man was taken back. "Now, just wait one minute. Do not go accusing others of what you are guilty of."

"I do not even wish to think of either you, my trusted tutors, would even think of doing so. Continue."

The game was easily won by the younger man, who to Hikaru looked nothing like the Sai of his memories. This story was exactly like what the Sai of his memories told him, but not the same.

"It is clear who should remain his majesty's tutor. As a punishment, you are thereby exiled from the palace." The Emperor's head advisor spoke quietly.

"Wait, I would like to request a match with the new tutor. I do not believe that your Majesty would be best served by only one tutor. Are not two opponents better than one to strengthen your majesty's skills?"

"Oh, Minister of the Interior, you wish to try to be the tutor again?"

"I merely wish to question the young Fujiwara's request to be the only tutor. Also, I would like to lower Nakatomi sensei sentence to only a temporary exile. His majesty's said himself he believed nothing out of the ordinary happened."

"This merits another match. Will you play in challenge?"

"I will. At the request of Minamoto, I will be greatly honored to play in his place." The long loose purple hair almost swept the ground and the bow was graceful and respectful. Before the Minister of the Interior could interject, the match began immediately.

"How may we address you?"

"This simple person only requests to be addressed as "Sai""

There was some noise in the crowd at the announcement. Fujiwara Sai was a prominent player for his age and his status made him more talented than he really was, but Sai was someone who recently came to the capital and surprised everyone with his genuine talent.

The confused and enraged face of Fujiwara was also noted before settled into smooth indifference. "As the only tutor of the Emperor, I will be glad to play an even match with you to test your skills."

And so it began.

The match this time, instead of clearly being even, was skewed in favor of the newcomer. Yet, even so, what Reiko did next was shocking.

"Please refrain from slipping in extra go stones. I know you are at a loss, Fujiwara, but unlike your previous opponent, I actually saw you put an extra go stone in, so I clearly was waiting for one your tricks."

Fuijwara no Sai threw his captured stones at his opponent, officially putting in effect his resignation.

As a result, Hikaru and Akira standing behind Reiko were pulled away by the go stones touching them.

Sprawled on a rooftop somewhere, the girl they both chased was standing on the edge.

"Fujiawara no Sai, died drowned two days later after the game, like a certain ghost told you. In the end, Shindou Hikaru, the Minister of the Interior had no choice but to expose Reiko as Sai, even though at the time was on the verge of meeting her best opponent to discover the hand of God. In turn, my opponents accused me of fraternizing with the emperor concubine, and she was burned to death while I was drowned."

"What does this have to do with Sai?" Akira Touya finally asked.

"Sai, as you know him, doesn't exist. It is merely something God did to give you Shindou Hikaru. Afterall, the pursuit of the Hand of God, is filled with nothing but human sorrow. It was simply cruelty to twist our fate into a piece to improve your chances. We shouldn't exist, and we won't. The world is not as easy as you think it is."

With that she fell off the roof. Hikaru and Akira ran to the ledge but there was no body. Only a fan and two go stones remained.

Hikaru Shindou told Akira Touya everything.

25 years later, over what surely was the game that led to the Hand of God, Shindou coughed blood and collapsed.

He was pronounced DOA.

Author's Note: Uh, yeah. I thought I just end it because I don't know how to end it, just sorta trails off. There's like no moral to the story and the whole point of it was to point out well, as House says "everyone lies" so why not a ghost? It got stupidly complicated though. I'm sorry. I just thought I just end it so I can say I finished a fanfic, and that I know exactly how hard writers work now, being that they write so much more. I'm glad you stuck with me to try to read this, and I'm sorry that you had to, but you have to admit, at first it was a good idea right? Thank you for reading!


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